Thanks for the advise! Another Revision

I love all the feedback!  As well as I love reading the potential future novels out there.  I wonder if all of us banded together and published ourselves and promised to purchase each others books how we would do.  :)  I can't stand getting pulled into these amazing stories and then only getting the query and the first pages...I'm screaming for MORE!!!!!

I hope I took the advice so graciously given and I hope this is better.  Let me know.  LOVE, LOVE , LOVE the feedback (even if it is bad :) )

Emma’s life was far from perfect.  The foster care system had made sure of that.  Unfamiliar with love she was quick to fall for Luke, the bad boy of her group home.  But even she knew love wasn’t on the receiving end of an angry fist.  When her best friend tries to help and is killed, her world is turned upside down.  How could she have predicted her best friend was really her bodyguard and she was the protector of sacred powers of a Native American God. 

Pulled into a world of Native American legend Emma gets a rude introduction to Skinwalkers; witches who alter their shape to wreak havoc on humans.   And discovers Luke, is one of them.  Emma’s dreams are haunted as Luke stalks her, waiting until the time is right to reclaim his powers.   Introduced to Solomon, the Shoalwaters’ young medicine man, Emma is offered his protection. But knowing one wrong move can trigger Luke’s violence, she refuses their connection.  Emma is forced to face her abuser and accept the powers she’s been bestowed or lose the chance to live and love again.   IT’S YOU is a NA Romance, telling the story of healing, with a supernatural thread driving the story.  It is complete at 96,000 words. 

 Thank you for your time and consideration. 

AND THE REVSION HAS BEGUN! YEAH!!

Thank you, Thank you, thank you!  Got some great feedback and got to work on my first revision.  Let me know if it works better.  :) 

Dear Agent,

Having grown up in the foster care system, Emma’s life was far from perfect. But she never envisioned herself on the receiving end of an angry fist or being told she’s the protector of sacred powers of a Native American God. 

Pulled into a world of Native American legend Emma gets a rude introduction to Skinwalkers; witches who alter their shape to wreak havoc on humans.   And discovers her ex-boyfriend, Luke, is one of them.  Creeping into Emma’s dreams, Luke stalks her, waiting until the time is right to reclaim his powers.   Introduced to Solomon, the Shoalwaters’ young medicine man, Emma is offered his protection. But knowing one wrong move can trigger Luke’s violence, she refuses their connection.  Emma is forced to face her abuser and accept the powers she’s been bestowed or lose the chance to live and love again.   IT’S YOU is a NA Romance, telling the story of healing, with a supernatural thread driving the story.  It is complete at 96,000 words. 

 Thank you for your time and consideration. 

Sincerely,

Connie Michael

The Haunted Writing Clinic!

So excited to start this Haunted Writing Clinic!  I am attaching my query below.  All comments are greatly appreciated!  Thanks in advance!

Dear Agent,

Having grown up in the foster care system, Emma’s life was far from perfect. But she never envisioned herself on the receiving end of an angry fist.

 When Emma begins to receive cryptic messages about parents she never, she wants nothing more than to graduate and get out of town.  However, the system has other ideas and she is sent her to live with a distant relative she never knew she had. Emma sees it as a chance to escape and start over.  But soon she finds herself thrust into a world of Navajo Spirits called the Holy Ones, where Luke is no longer just her ex-boyfriend but a malevolent spirit after something she holds inside.  The only way to protect herself and her new found family are to accept the help Solomon offers, a self-proclaimed spirit with healing powers.  As Solomon gets drawn deeper into Emma’s world their connection is undeniable but so is the danger Emma’s past holds for him.  Emma must learn to accept the gifts that were bestowed to her and find the strength to fight for the love she has always searched for, or risk losing it all.

IT’S YOU is a 96,000 word NA Romance that tells the story of eighteen year old Emma, who tries to escape an abusive past only to be thrust into the world of a Navajo legend.

Not my usual post

I don't usually post personal messages but I have been busy getting back to work as a teacher and then 7 days into the school year our city caught on fire.  The school I teach at is right below the larger fire.  The fires have worked there way up and over the hills and spread out to the side.  Our beautiful valley is filled with smoke and no one is suppose to go outside.  The students have been inside for recess due to poor air quality.  On an air quality scale that goes to 500...we are at 498.  All school sports have been canceled and beusinesses have been asked to close.  People are walking around with masks on.  It all started with a crazy lightening storm.  The weather doesn't seem to be in our favor and the fires are expected to flare up again this weekend.  My community is pretty small but we have pulled together and there were so many donations made to the fire fighters that they actually asked the community to stop donating how crazy is that!  I think I feel an inspiration to write a book about the fire fighters that have come from across the country to help us out! 

Gearing up has begun!

I have had such a great morning trolling around the blogs of fellow writers!  I especially love all the different blog looks.  While I was doing that, however, I realized I did not post my mini bio..  So here it goes!
I a live in a tiny town in Washington.  We have a post office, grocery store, and bar.  We are an agricultural area so orchards surround me.  Although they are pulling them out and planting grapes so we could become the wine capital soon.  I have three dogs, one is a new puppy, who has made me discover how to undo many wrongly pushed buttons on my computer.  I have two sons.  The oldest I just sent off to college.  he is playing football, so I have  a five hour drive every Saturday to watch him.  My husband and I are getting to know eachother better and better as we are stuck alone in the car.  My other son is 16 and has Aspergers, but is super smart and is going to community college this year.  I am a second grade teacher.  I speak Spanish, poorly...but I do it.  :)  I began writing 5 years ago after suffering a life threatening case of Staph in my sinus cavity.  Put the world into perspective!  The infection affected the language area of my brain and the writing helps me to exercise it and reprogram the beautiful words I struggle to find when I am speaking.

Gearing up Get to know me!

-Where do you write?

During the summer I either write in a really comfy old chair in the corner of my living room or outside under a tree in my front yard.  I have a little pink notebook computer that is super easy to take everywhere to write.
During the school year I will sometimes (don't tell) write during the kids silent reading and my lunch.  :)


-Quick. Go to your writing space, sit down and look to your left. What is the first thing you see?

To the left in my living room is our couch with my sixteen year old watching Storage Wars.  Outside it would be my puppy Dasy sleeping in the grass.

-Favorite time to write?

 

I write whenever I get the chance.  I carry a notebook around to jot down ideas when I don't have time to actually crack open the computer.  That said I would say I usually write at night after dinner has been made and cleaned up.  Now that my oldest in away at college I will have a bit more time. 

-Drink of choice while writing?

Usually Diet Pepsi with a lot of ice, occasionally I will drink Crystal Light, raspberry lemonade if I have already had my pop for the day.  Sadly I go to the gym in the morning, stop at a mini mart for a LARGE soda and come home to write.  Not very healthy, I know.

-When writing , do you listen to music or do you need complete silence?

Usually I write with the television on.  Although I prefer quiet, it is my way of writing and still being somewhat in the view of my kids and husband.  However I can not write with sports on and will head off to a quiet place if they are watching Monday night football.

-What was your inspiration for your latest manuscript and where did you find it?

My inspiration for my latest manuscript is an ongoing repsect for the military and recently reading Marcus Luttrell's book Survivor.  I have spent the last year doing research on the war in Afghanistan for the book and am embarrassed by how much I did not know about what was going on.

-What's your most valuable writing tip?

My most valuable writing tip came this summer.  I gathered together some new beta readers and I let one of them drive my story in a direction I did not want it to go.  They never could get past the first three chapters and although I think I learned a lot from the experience, remember the story is YOUR story and don't lose the focus of what it is you're trying to say.
It reminded me of what happened the first time Stephanie Meyer got a screen play written for Twilight.  All of a sudden there were aliens and FBI agents in the story. 

GEARING UP!!!