Now the Doubt Comes

This isn't my first go round in the publishing world.  Last year at this time I was trying to regain my rights of several books and was blessed that the friends I made during that time helped me out.  But whether I am self-publishing, with a publisher, or writing a paper for a class that same feeling of self doubt comes creeping in.  I follow many authors on facebook and twitter and when I see their successes I celebrate too, but then I wonder...am I wasting my time?  I have about a week of asking myself this question and today while cleaning out a bag I found a folded up note.  A note I wrote almost eight years ago.  And it reminded me why I write.
I titled it:  It's My Life and I am Going to Laugh
I sit in my mini van waiting to pick up my kids and I try to open my eyes to the world around me.  Literally open them and take in the beauty surrounding me.  Mountains, spring flowers, all the colors.  So often I have focused on the now and the next activity and bypass all the beauty of the world. Seeing is a gift.
I should preface this with the fact there isn't a beginning or an end to this story.  You see I am a teacher by trade, a mom, and a wife.  Two weeks ago I was told I couldn't work anymore.  I have a n illness that prevents me from returning to the environment I was in.  So now I sit back and ask myself...why had God put this opportunity before me.  At first I thought it was so I could sleep, but when you have an infinite opportunity to do something...you don't really want to do it anymore.  I moved to the next possibility.  Maybe it was so I could be a better mom?  During my illness I was unable to take care of my family and maybe this was a chance to do that.  But after I cleaned and organized and cooked--that wasn't it either.  The family appreciated my attempt but my mom status didn't improve.  Then one day I was listening to Positive Life Radio and a song spoke to me.  It was called Seize the Day, and God told me to write.  But about what?

Post 2 coming soon